I’m going to take a different angle with the 30 day blog. Along with the blog about the person, I’ll cover a song that reminds me of that person in the context of the question, explaining why I chose which songs. Hopefully this gets me back into making music. This also means the blogs can’t start ‘til I learn the song and record it -_- Well, heres to hoping it’ll happen…
I need to set some goals. I’ve lost my way in so many senses I can taste the failure in it all. I’m kind of just coasting through life, taking it a day at a time. But this can make me so short sighted. I don’t think of the long run, just the days sprint, and a lot of times I find my energy and attention spent on pointless trivia while important things I should be planning just fall to wayside.
I completely blew off my New Years resolutions in such a typical, yet, ravishingly stylish, Raymond-fashion. So heres what I need to do:
Get Marathon Pro in RL by the end of summer.
Get my Mindswag back up to optimum performance.
Eat healthier. (Goodbye Pho ]: Ahhhhh….)
Get the next 5 years of my life planned out.
KOREAN / JAPANESE GIRLS.
Be off the brackets when it comes to music. (Get it?! Brackets? Ha…. ha..ha…)
Do some soul searching and become a better me.
STOP SAYING NIGGA.
Stop losing friends…
It bothers me. That things can’t be the same. That I should screw up so badly I might lose you again. That I can’t just drop these things. That every time I see you, a dozen of my favorite memories play in my mind, and they are all with you. It bothers me… that you might not care anymore. It bothers me to think of the next 50 years of my life, and imagine what they would be like without you there.
There are days when I tell myself I’m utterly worthless. Inadequate, incapable. That I don’t deserve a Goddamn thing. Days I feel like a complete embarrassment. Thank you, brother, for the awesome pep-talk last Tuesday. I come to see that those days should be months.
Song in my head:
Nothing ever really got to me; I could always turn the other cheek. Could it be those days ago? I could of sworn that I was strong.
Life right now is a muddled blur of late nights in pursuit of party and bullshit. A sinking stone. Shooting straight to the ocean floor, held fast and unfeelingly by gravity and pushed by ever growing pressure. If it hits the bottom, the climb back up is hell.
She is the only thing holding me. Have you ever seen waves take graceful shape? Or a tigress protect her cubs? Or the star strewn sky from atop a mountain? She is the reason for the crease in my smile.
The frowning wrinkles I gave to myself. For every time I assumed and let the arrogant insecurity inside me think for you. For every time I pushed you away, afraid that you didn’t care. I just want the awful gaps in my logic filled by the reassurance of your smile and the music of your voice. I want the laughter that kept us gasping for air, I want that feeling that someone understands and cares about me. I just want my friend back.
Doing “me”, isn’t working, Drake. It’s time to wake and grow up.
DLD only ever made a sample of this song, and even though I’ve never heard the whole thing, I hella dig it. It’s such an earnest love song, nothing about bodies being wonderlands, or asses sitting right and being magical when twerked.
I miss the days when my ideas of love and affection were shaped by music like this.